Tinder Closes Tråden

Scoring med elektronisk grej

Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Kaizer » ons 26. nov 2014 15:56

"You fucking slut"

Kaizer: Tinder say we match
Girl: It does. Tinder knows all.
Girl: It's like Siri but for ladies and dudes to meet!
Kaizer: Yeah, how is it working out for you?
Girl: I've actually only just joined a week ago so haven't met anyone yet but I'm open to seeing how it goes. You?
Kaizer: A new world is opening for you :) I have been here for a while. It's fun.
Kaizer: I like the idea that you are a Tinder virgin, so pure and innocent
Girl: Good to hear that you find it fun.
Girl: I should say this is my first time on Tinder in Melbourne so not quite a virgin
Kaizer: Haha, now the truth comes out
Girl: Haha yeah so I just moved to Melbourne last week but I was in it for a few month in Canberra (where I lived). Some of it was fun but there were some freaks too
Kaizer: Yeah that goes both ways, I mean how do I know you are not a freak ;)
Kaizer: a cute looking freak though
Girl: I never said I wasn't a freak...
Kaizer: only makes you more dangerous and fun ;)
Girl: Exactly! And exotic....
Girl: How do I know you aren't a freak Kaizer?
Kaizer: I like how you handled that, standing by your freaky exotic personality
Girl: Nice name by the way! Is that your real name or exotic profile name?
Kaizer: Haha, thanks for insulting my Scandinavian name :D
Kaizer: maybe I'm a freak for you? Depends
Girl: Thanks, if you are going to be freaky, you have to own it!
Girl: I said it was a lovely name. Is it Danish?
Kaizer: yeah, nice guess!
Girl: Haha. You can be a freak for me...
Kaizer: I like to own stuff ;)
Girl: Thanks, I'm pretty global and stuff...
Kaizer: Your own Danish freak
Girl: You gots to own it!
Girl: I dream of my own Danish freak
Girl: Are you Danish or are your parents?
Kaizer: I do :) Maybe your dreams will come true then ;)
Kaizer: I'm Danish, like fresh off the boat kinda stuff
Girl: Haha-you wouldn't tease a gal would you?
Kaizer: I would :P
Kaizer: Makes it sexier
Girl: My very own genuine FOB Dane!! The heavens are singing!!!
Girl: Everyone likes a chase:)
Kaizer: Getting wet? ;)
Girl: Truly!
Kaizer: Haha, now I'm playing into the typically Tinder guy role
Girl: Haha!
Kaizer: I feel so objectifying of women
Kaizer: but that's what makes it hot
Girl: You are and you are owning it!
Kaizer: Thanks, maybe I can own you too :P
Kaizer: you seem like a lot of fun
Girl: Objectifying women isn't hot but I'm totaling objectifying you so it works out!
Girl: No man can ever own me Kaizer, you beautiful fool
Kaizer: Would some to expose you to my Danish awesomeness
Girl: Thanks - you too
Girl: Would some? Jeg kan inte pratar dansk...
Kaizer: Now I'm both wet and hard, what are you doing to me? ;)
Girl: A mix of Swedish and Danish for you...
Kaizer: Swedish though
Girl: You are wet????
Girl: Your vagina?
Kaizer: I can teach you Danish
Girl: Liten Svensk.
Girl: Ja tak!
Kaizer: My mangina is wet
Girl: Haha - nice! Proud of you bro.
Kaizer: Du er fræk, vil gerne gøre slemme ting med dig
Girl: You are so forward for a Danish man!
Kaizer: Yeah, but I'm not Swedish
Kaizer: so thats why
Kaizer: we are more liberal in that matter
Girl: I thought Danes were shyer? I'm google translating what you just said.
Girl: Are you from Copes?
Kaizer: Haha, don't google translate me bitch! :P
Kaizer: Copes?
Kaizer: Hagen?
Kaizer: Nope, from the viking town of Odense
Girl: Don't tell me what I can and can't translate bitch!
Girl: Everyone calls Copenhagen Copes, get with it!
Kaizer: You are feisty ;)
Girl: Sounds lovely! Why are you here? For study? And being a freak?
Kaizer: Just the freak thing :D
Girl: You too
Kaizer: I'm a prince
Kaizer: My middle name is Frederik
Girl: of cause you are! Like Frederik!
Kaizer: You could be my Mary :)
Girl: That is seriously weird because I'm a princess
Kaizer: always dreaming of that happening
Girl: Or you could be my Mary
Girl: Your dreams just came true!
Kaizer: Now we are opening up for the weird stuff ;)
Kaizer: But whatever turns you on, cutie
Girl: Things were weird from the beginning!
Kaizer: I know! Makes it sexier <3
Girl: You said your mangina was wet so clearly you are the one loving every second ;)
Girl: Haha - true, or freakier! Better!
Kaizer: Like that you can't stop thinking about it ;)
Kaizer: Have you ever licked a vagina?
Girl: No, have you?
Kaizer: Only cocks :P
Kaizer: Thinking you could convert me
Kaizer: and I could lick your ;)
Kaizer: if you get that far of cause...
Girl: That makes sense..I heard princes love penis.
Girl: If I get that far? Hilarious ;)
Kaizer: Yeah, I'm not that kinda guy you know, you have to treat me with respect ;)
Girl: Do you just use Tinder to lick a lot of vagina/cock?
Girl: You seem like a massive whore, but if you say so!
Kaizer: Haha, what do you think of me? :D
Girl: That you are a huge clit tease <3
Kaizer: Is that how your clit feels right now?
Girl: You wish!
Kaizer: I know, you would like my big cock deep in you ;)
Kaizer: making you cum like the princess you are <3
Girl: OMG - you are seriously pushing your luck right now!!!!
Kaizer: How does it feel? ;)
Girl: Take a cold shower bro!
Kaizer: With you? :D
Girl: Treat me like the princess I am and less of the penetration stuff!!!
Kaizer: seems like you could use it too
Girl: Be a lady
Kaizer: I'm just kidding around, I'm actually nice :)
Kaizer: and I think you are interesting and fun
Girl: Penetration is no kidding matter!
Girl: You do seem nice but also a potential freak
Kaizer: Fun matter though.. ;)
Girl: I think you are interesting and fun too.
Kaizer: Would never penetrate someone I didn't have a connection with
Kaizer: Thanks :*
Girl: That's what they all say sugar lips. :*
Kaizer: Would love to feel your lips too
Kaizer: :* :*
Kaizer: or you are probably more like this :P*(retarderet tongue smily)
Girl: Hahahahaha!!!! You got me in one!
Kaizer: Good kisser? :)
Girl: You are probably like this :P* (fisseslikke tongue smily)
Girl: Who knows? It's hard to tell. You?
Kaizer: On your pussy I would be like that ;)
Kaizer: Been told I am, but you can always have a try
Girl: Hey, hey, hey, steady on!
Kaizer: Haha, it looked like a pussy tongue!! :D
Kaizer: Your fault
Girl: You are a massive freak!
Girl: That is your fault!
Kaizer: I accept it :D
Girl: How many times do I need to tell you to act like a lady???
Kaizer: full responsibility
Kaizer: Hahaha, YOU act like a lady ;)
Girl: Thanks - I might give it a go one day. Only if you behave like a gentleman though.
Kaizer: Promise to keeps dick in my pants (engle-smily)
Girl: I am a lady! That is why I am telling you to be a gentleman!
Kaizer: I know, I like you :)
Girl: If we meet in public it's probably best to have it out.
Kaizer: Would scare people
Girl: Safer that way and less suspicious
Kaizer: It's big
Girl: People like to see things out in the open and not hiding.
Kaizer: but will keep it in though, I'm shy
Girl: Kaizer - be a lady!! And leave something to the imagination!
Kaizer: Or you just would like to see my penis ;)
Girl: You seem very shy.
Kaizer: I do like to build the excitement, so I understand what you mean :)
Girl: No I wouldn't because I'm a lady. I would like to your beautiful heart though
Kaizer: so meeting in public you say - drinks?
Kaizer: Drinks and hearts
Kaizer: a novel by *name* Freak
Girl: This is you building excitement? It seems like you've climaxed about 50 times!
Girl: Oooh yes please. Drinks would be lovely.
Girl: I like that title!
Kaizer: So now it must be your turn to climax multiple times ;)
Kaizer: hahaha
Kaizer: Are you saying, that you would want me to be your first Tinder?
Girl: Ladies don't talk about their climaxes to strangers. Even hilarious Danish ones.
Kaizer: what an honor *name* :)
Girl: Yes, you are worth it you beautiful freak.
Kaizer: That was sweet of you, are you actually a sweetheart?
Kaizer: I feel my heart is warming up a bit :)
Girl: I'm actually a lovely person just also a freak
Girl: I'm blushing
Kaizer: What a combo
Girl: :)
Kaizer: I think I could fall for you :)
Girl: Thank you. You are a lucky man
Girl: Haha
Kaizer: or at least have a good time :*
Girl: Either or. Who knows what the future holds! I could fall for you <3
Girl: Or hump you and dump you
Kaizer: Like branches in a river, flowing downstream
Girl: But I don't want to break your lovely heart.
Girl: how long are you here for?
Kaizer: Don't sure you could, would take some serious humping :P
Kaizer: I'm here for a month, but my legacy remains
Kaizer: The Great Dane
(.........) hun svare ikke et stykke tid
Girl: It's always nice for a legacy to remain!
Girl: Where are you staying? And what suburb?
Kaizer: What's up with the delayed response, were you ignoring me you fucking slut? :D
Kaizer: I live in Brunswick
Kaizer: Should be pretty close to you, as far as I can see ;)
Girl: WHAT THE WHAT????
Girl: Are you kidding or you actually a misogynist?
Kaizer: Just kidding, its something I do all the time with my female friends, and they with each other. Like "my nigga"
Girl: You are lucky buddy!
Kaizer: You already told me that ;)
Kaizer: Text me your number
Girl: I meant in a different way this time! I was talking to my sister so had to delay our flirtation.
Girl: Text you? I don't have your number.
Kaizer: Haha. You don't have to justify yourself ;)
Kaizer: and just write your number here
Girl: Oh good phew
Girl: ______________
Girl: Text me yours
Kaizer: I'm sending you a dick pic (sender hende billede af en tegnet pik)
Girl: I loved it!!
Kaizer: It's 1:1 in size
"Make it, don't take it, make it, don't fake it."
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Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Kami » lør 29. nov 2014 02:40

Kaizer for satan... "Don't google translate me bitch" :D :D :D
Kami
 

Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Kaizer » lør 29. nov 2014 06:40

Kamikee skrev:Kaizer for satan... "Don't google translate me bitch" :D :D :D


"Make it, don't take it, make it, don't fake it."
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Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Fox » lør 10. jan 2015 15:00

Det er virkelig inspirerende at læse dine beskeder Kaizer. Jeg gad godt at jeg var så god til at skrive flirtende beskeder.
Hellere en pige i sengen, end 10 på Tinder
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Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Desire » fre 16. jan 2015 20:34

Fox skrev:Det er virkelig inspirerende at læse dine beskeder Kaizer. Jeg gad godt at jeg var så god til at skrive flirtende beskeder.

Ja hans sidste posts er intet mindre end genial.

Posts nogle af dine samtaler så er der mulighed for at vi kan give feedback?
Jeg synes selv det falder naturligt, men alle er jo forskellige.

Btw. tjek alfons beskeder ud. Han har gang i nogle vilde samtaler
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky
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Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf GoldMan » fre 16. jan 2015 21:21

Den sidste post er helt genial - godt skrevet, Kaizer!
- Utrolig sjov, spændende og underholdende samtale
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Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Kaizer » fre 18. sep 2015 10:37

Skumgummi-cello-spank

*liker piges moment*
Pige: “Hej Kaizer”
Kaizer: “Hej Pige, du er ret køn :)
Kaizer: “Hvorfor har du ikke skrevet før nu, din retard ;) :P
Pige: “Hahaha tak :) go hey, set er en two way thing :)
Pige: “Og det er bare billeder :)
Kaizer: “Ja, jeg er genert.. Har rødt hår :D
Kaizer: “Jamen, så du siger, jeg skal se dig i virkeligheden så. Eller siger du, jeg helst IKKE skal se dig i virkeligheden? :) :P
Pige: “Hahaja, det er vel en sag for dig ?? ;) og jeg tvivler på at du er for genert til at skrive :D
Pige: “Fordi du er rødhåret :D
Kaizer: “Måske vi får se :D Hvor er du fra Pige?”
Kaizer: “Hvad er din addresse? Har du alarmsystem”
Kaizer: *no see smiley*
Pige: “Hahahahaha jeg er fra Kbh men bor i Odense :) og resten tror jeg ikke du får at vide lige pt - kan jo ikke stole på rødhåret”
Kaizer: “Bare rolig. Det er bare så jeg kan sidde lidt uden for i buskadset og gemme mig med skimaske og en gummikyllling.. Intet farligt :D *thumbs up*
Pige: “Hahahaha, så tager jeg en stegepande med ned næstegang ;) damn who would have known ;)
Kaizer: “Er jo genert, gummikyllingen er bare for min egen trygheds skyld :D
Pige: “Hahaha ;) fair nok.. Men ehm, en gummikylling ??? Det er nok et bedre våben ;)
Kaizer: Har faktisk en liggende, tror det er min hunds legetøj :) Hvad går puttepatruljen ud på?”
Pige: “Som en stegepande fx :D
Pige: “Har du Hund ?”
Kaizer: Kun hvis den også er af gummi!! :D
Kaizer: “Har en terrier”
Kaizer: “Og min terrier har en kylling :’D”
Pige: “Og puttepatruljen er noget en patient kaldte mig engang :) og så er det måske også bare fordi jeg virkeligt er kæmpe fan af at putte :)
Kaizer: “Åh elsker at putte også!<3”
Kaizer: “Håber du er køn”
Pige: “Hahaha hvis du har en gummi stegepande.. Så er du min nye best bud ;)
Pige: “Så du vil kun putte med kønne folk? :)
Pige: “Åååhhhhhhh. !!! Hva hedder den?? :)
Pige: “Putte er bare dejligt :)
Kaizer: “Det har jeg ikke, men har en to meter lang skumgummi-cello, som jeg kan spanke dig med, hvis du har været en uartig puttegris *grisebasse*”
Pige: “Hahahahahaha”
Kaizer: “Den hedder Betty og er mega køn, putter kun med den!”
Pige: “Jeg synes nok at du er lidt en bandit ;) Jamen så har du jo din helt egen putte patrulje :)
Pige: ”Hva…. Laver du til hverdag, udover at putte med Betty ?”
Kaizer: “Hvad er det ved banditter der tænder dig, Pige? Er det mine besiddelser? Skumgummi og gummi-ejendelene :D
Pige: “Hmm… Hvem siger jeg er tændt ??”
Kaizer: “Jeg laver ____________”
Kaizer: “Hvad med dig? Hvad laver du udover ikke at være tændt? :D
Pige: “Det er det røde hår okay :) ehm, jeg læser :)
Kaizer: “Åh, endnu en fan :) *thumbs up*
Kaizer: “*jordbær* <3 *jordbær* <3 *jordbær*”
Kaizer: “Du læser til ringbind :)
Kaizer” heeelt vildt kedeligt..”
Pige: “Er der mange der er fan af det røde hår ? :)
Kaizer: “Men praktisk”
Kaizer: “Der er 3 i klubben”
Pige: “Det er virkeligt spændende!! Don’t diss my profession ;)
Kaizer: “To af dem er mig selv og min mor :) *thumbs up*”
Pige: “Din mor og bedstemor ?”
Pige: “Hahahahahahahahahahagaha”
Kaizer: “Ja, you got it *thumbs up*”
Pige: “Jeg læser faktisk noget virkeligt praktisk :) guess”
Kaizer: “Mere praktisk end ringbind? :)
Kaizer: “Bibliotekar?”
Kaizer: “Smed??”
Pige: “Ja smed !!!”
Pige: “Eller VVS :)
Kaizer: “Wow, hvor postmoderne”
Pige: “Nærmest en form for VVS :)
Kaizer: “Pige-VVS?”
Pige: “Jaah, hjerte VVS vil jeg gerne være :)
Kaizer: “<3 VVS <3 <3”
Pige: “Hahahahahahahahahah Jaaaa”
Kaizer: “Det er sådan nogle som dig, vi har brug for unge dame! :) :)
Pige: “Hjerte vvs’ere ?? Eller blomsten af Danmarks ungdom ? ;)
Pige: “Og unge dame ??!!! Kaizer, jeg tror du skulle møde mig !”
Kaizer: “Blomster og hjerter *thumbs up* Spændende planer i weekenden? :)
Kaizer: “Apropos..”
Kaizer: “din sidste kommentar….”
Kaizer: “;) ;)
Kaizer: “:*”
Pige: “Hahahahaha, det havde jeg slet ikke lagt mærke til !! Jeg skal bare arbejde :)
Pige: “Jeg er måske…. Lidt lost ;)
Kaizer: “Mere end normalt? Ved ikke om jeg tør møde dig, hvis du kun er pæn på billederne? :)
Kaizer: “Og så OGSÅ er lost”
Kaizer: “Dat combo”
Pige: “Hahahha, altså jeg kan vel ikke selv sige så meget. Andet end at jeg nogen gange har en babedag :)
Pige: “Og oh ya !! Terrible combo !!!”
Kaizer: “Er du en af de piger, hvis bryster vokser på visse tidspunkter?”
Pige: “Hahaha. Det er jeg ikke nej ;)
Pige: “Men ehm, ved ikke om det er godt eller dårligt?”
Kaizer: “Kunne ellers godt vær en babedag. Måske det bare er en dag, hvor du er en grissebasse så *grissebasse*”
Pige: “Du får en babedag, awesome first impression ;)
Kaizer: “Vil gerne møde dig :)
Pige: “Sure about that?? Du er ikke for genert ??”
Kaizer: “Tror jeg :’D
Kaizer: “Jaah.. :) Ej lad os prøve”
Kaizer: “Makes it sexier”
Pige: “.. *no see, no hear, no talk emoji*
Pige: “*skildpadde emoji x5*
Kaizer: “Skriv dit nummer :)
Kaizer: “Inden min Tinder bryder sammen :P Har lige mistet halvdelen af beskederne”
Pige: “Argh stress !!!”
Pige: “Burde jeg ??”
Pige: “Af alle dine beskeder af den rødhårede fanskare ?? Eller bare mine ? :)
Kaizer: “Nah, det er ok. Kan se beskederne igen nu :’D”
Pige: “Pheww, var lige bekymret for at du ikke kunne genlæse vores fantastisk forvirrende samtale !!”
Kaizer: “Jaa.. Og poste den på dansk pickup forum *no see emoji*”
Kaizer: “i underforummet ‘scor på Tinder”
Kaizer: “:P”
Pige: “Hahahahahahahahahah det er helt sikkert en winner ;)
Kaizer: “If you say so ;)
Pige: *advarselslampe emoji x4*
Pige: “Men hem… Jah, studerende.. What else should I know ?”
Kaizer: “Jeg kan godt lide at gå i cowboytøj og spille elektronisk bas”
Kaizer: “Nailed it!”
Kaizer: “:D”
Pige: “Hahah, 100 %”
Pige: “Jeg er beat… Gotta get some sleep ;)
Kaizer: “…”
Pige: “Sorry mate :)
Pige: “XXXXXXXX ;) text me my friend :)
Kaizer: *ok emoji”
Pige: “Godnat :) *rødvin emoji x3* *no see, no hear emoji* *katte emoji*
Kaizer: * thumbs up*
"Make it, don't take it, make it, don't fake it."
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Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Desire » fre 18. sep 2015 12:07

Fuck fuck fuck det er godt! Elsker det :D
Forstår dog ikke halvdelen af alle de anførselstegn osv. Er det emojis eller?
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky
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Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Kaizer » fre 18. sep 2015 12:42

Desire skrev:Fuck fuck fuck det er godt! Elsker det :D
Forstår dog ikke halvdelen af alle de anførselstegn osv. Er det emojis eller?

Yep, det med *'s udenom er emojis. *no talk* *no hear* *no see*= Billede
"Make it, don't take it, make it, don't fake it."
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Re: Tinder Closes Tråden

Indlægaf Desire » fre 18. sep 2015 13:13

Shit. Jeg ville slet ikke fange hvad de hver især betyder lol xD
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky
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