[Japanese words: kancho = "ram fingers butt playfully"; sansai = "3 year old"; sensei = "teacher"; oba-chan = "grandma"; gomen = "sorry"; un = "yes"; mata kondo = "again next time"; chotto = "what? excuse me? hold on a sec?" (many translations)]
Dorian Gray skrev:Improving Your Game By Imitating 3-Year-Old Boys
Recently I've started doing volunteer work one day a week at a Japanese pre-kindergarten. I haven't been around small children much since I was in school myself, so it's been interesting watching how they act. Apart from getting punched in the cock and kancho'd way too much, it's even been enjoyable.
Anyway, today when I went there I started thinking about how young children deal with social interaction, and it gave me some ideas for kicking my game. I started thinking about a three-year-old boy I know; for the sake of this report I'll call him Sansai. Here are some features of his behavior I noted that I think have relevance to game:
1) He pursues his own agenda without being reactive
Usually before I start doing anything I have a chat with the normal pre-kindergarten teacher, X-Sensei. While this is happening Sansai will come up and start talking to me:
Sansai: (grabbing my hand) Let's play with blocks! Blocks!
Me: Sorry, I'm talking to X-Sensei now.
Sansai: Play! With BLOCKS!
Me: Just wait a while, I'll be over.
Sansai: BLOCKS! *runs off and plays with blocks*
Note that he doesn't stand around waiting for me to finish talking, he pursues his agenda immediately. Also, he doesn't feel sad or rejected that I didn't immediately come over, because he was going to play with blocks anyway. I feel like this is a good way to deal with inviting girls places or getting them to do things. You don't make them the center of what you're doing, you just do something and then try to integrate them into it, without necessarily ASKING them - just "I'm free at seven-thirty, so let's go drinking then" instead of "When are you free?"
3) He's persistent and never argues
Really just a corollary of 1). When Sansai wants me to do something, he doesn't sit there logically explaining why I should do it ("Picking me up and carrying me around the room would be a lot of fun!"), he just imposes himself on me and tells me to do it. ("Pick me up! NOW!"). If I try to argue he just repeats his demand or request until I either do what he wants or leave. Then he just moves onto the next person.
2) He makes no distinction between complete strangers and people he's known all his life
The first time I met Sansai he just came up and started talking about his grandmother. "Oba-chan is coming this weekend!". His conversations all follow this pattern; he just starts talking about something to anyone he wants to. Where's his 'opener'? Where's "I'm Sansai-kun, nice to meet you."? He doesn't bother with it, just comes up and starts talking. He takes it for granted that his life or anything he wants to talk about is interesting enough to warrant the attention of a complete stranger. In contrast a lot of the time people trying to talk to girls will need to make some excuse for talking to them, because they think they need to apologize for talking to a complete stranger. But three-year-olds don't give a shit. They don't have any "approach anxiety."
3) He talks about sex and the human body unselfconsciously
I've noticed that although these young children sometimes laugh about the human body, they just as often talk about it matter-of-factly. They don't seem ashamed or scared to bring it into conversations. In contrast a lot of people talking to girls feel scared to do so.
There are a lot more situations I could explain in detail, but for now imagine AFC and Sansai both go on a D2 with an HB10. They finish and start walking back home:
AFC: So...I was wondering...do you want to come back to my place for a bit? I can show you those photos of my house in America I was telling you about earlier. I've got a bottle of red wine too.
HB10: Gomen...my last train is in ten minutes...
AFC: It's cool, you should come back to my place...I think you're going to miss your train now anyway, since the station is so far away. (tries to take her hand)
HB10: (walking into the station) Gomen...I have a plan early tomorrow...
AFC: Uh....okay...well...let's go drinking again next time!
HB10: Un! Mata kondo! (leaves)
Now check this shit:
Sansai: (grabbing HB10's hand and pulling her in the direction of his place) Let's go to my room now!!!
HB10: Gomen...my last train is in ten minutes...
Sansai: Let's go!!! Back to my room!!!!
HB10: But...I have a plan early tomorrow...
Sansai: (shaking HB10's hand and smiling excitedly while pulling her in the direction of his place) MY ROOM NOW!!!!!
During end game:
AFC: I really want to kiss you...is that okay?
AFC: (leans in slowly and tries to kiss her)
HB10: (pulls away) Gomen...I can only kiss my boyfriend...
AFC: I'm sorry...I mean, I'm not your boyfriend but I really want to kiss you...and you shouldn't worry about guys being your boyfriend or not, just have a good time...
Sansai: (hugs HB10)
Sansai: (grabs HB10s breasts, kisses her, or makes any other kind of unambiguous move)
HB10: (laughing) Chotto!
Sansai: Hahaha! (keeps touching her any way he wants without reacting to anything she says or does. Even if she pulls away he keeps talking to her or later resumes touching her.)
In conclusion I think there is a lot to be learned from small children. I would take a 3-year-old wingman any day...