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Recently I have been thinking a lot about the psychological mechanism behind open loops: What is it about ‘open loops’ that cause women to want and reach for more?
And about a month ago it dawned on me while watching TV. I was watching a television show that I did not find terribly interesting, and out of nowhere the power went out. The weird thing was that inside I felt this emotional “want” to find out the conclusion to a TV show I did not even find interesting. But the more I thought about this the more I realized that I did not really want to find out what happened, but wanted closure and resolution.
Even though the show was not very good, it had created some unresolved emotional tension in me. The power going out made me aware of my need to release, resolve, and bring closure to this tension.
So, what I have discovered is that the psychological mechanism behind open loops is in creating unresolved emotional tension.
What I have realized is that besides using open loops, there are literally hundreds of ways of creating, and increasing unresolved emotional tension.
Doing this is what I call a “Tension Loop”. The structure of a Tension Loop is to first do something that creates unresolved emotional tension.
For example, you could do this by using an open loop: an unfinished story or thought.
Or you could do this by creating a barrier between you and a woman. If you have chemistry with a woman you might want to hint that there is already a woman in your life, planting the seed in her mind that even though you and her like each other, it probably will not work out between the both of you because you are already taken.
Or you could feign being really offended by something a woman does or says. If she asks you, “What do you do for a living?” you could hasten back with, “I am not the guy who used to work with you at Mc. Donald’s, and if we ever hang out there is to be no talk about your career path at McDonalds…I wouldn’t want you to embarrass me in front of my friends”.
Or you could do something to invalidate a woman, such as, acting unimpressed with her or even hinting at not liking her.
Now once you have created this tension loop inside a woman, you can keep going with it: you can build it larger and more intense.
For example, if you create a tension loop by acting offended by something a woman says or does, you can make that tension loop larger and more intense by continuing to act offended.
But at a certain point, you need to close the tension loop-bring some resolution, release, or closure to it.
I have found that people who are effective at using tension loops-for example, auspicious writers and marketers - all follow a similar structure:
1) They do or say something to create the tension loop
2) They keep going with what they said or did, making the “tension loop” larger
3) They do something to close the tension loop; bring some release or resolution to it
4) They open it back up, but just a little bit.
Also, have you ever noticed that this is the structure of many great movies? Think about it: many great movies start off with a tension loop by introducing some kind of conflict or drama. Then, the tension loop increases up until the point of the climax. Then the tension loop is closed by bringing some resolution to the conflict or drama. And, finally, the movie ends by either the tension loop being opened back up or a new tension loop opening up. This makes the movie watcher want to see the sequel.
Lets now look at an example of sparking a tension loop, building it, closing it, and then opening up a new tension loop - but just a little bit.
A few days ago, after exchanging some light banter with a woman, I said to her, “You know…I don’t like you…”
She gave me a flabbergasted look and panted, “What!” (Being the attractive woman that she was, she had probably never had anyone say this to her before).
I had sparked a tension loop in her.
Next I made the tension loop bigger by saying, “I’m sorry, that probably came off wrong. Let me be more specific: I really don’t like you.”
Here I was making the tension loop larger: intensifying all of that unresolved emotional tension inside her. Now although this is very powerful, you do not want to create so much tension that she snaps -you do not want to PUSH her away completely. So the idea is to take her to the edge - or close to it. It is similar to kids blowing bubbles. They want to blow as much air into the bubble to ensure that it is as big as possible, but if they blow too much air into the bubble it will pop. This takes practice, and you really have to learn to observe how much emotional tension she is experiencing at any given moment.
Then I said to her, “And the reason I don’t like you is that you remind me of this girl Miranda whom I hated in the second grade. I hated her because she used to always beat me at hot hands (BTW, “hot hands” is a game that children play.).
Then I challenged her to a game of hot hands, defeated her quickly, and gloated, “Yes…I am the winner, and, actually, I like you now…since you really stink at hot hands”.
So here I closed the tension loop by bringing resolution and release to her emotional tension. And then I opened a new loop - just a little bit - by telling her that she stinks at hot hands.
Chacruna skrev:Det er sjovt, det her med open loops minder mig helt vildt meget om noget der egentligt måske er ret vigtigt... Ej, bare glem det, det er nok ikke så vigtigt...
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